Why I Bought My First Home Solo Instead of Moving in with My Significant Other



For those of you who have been kicking it with me and my blog for a while now, y'all might recall the post I wrote a few years ago about being 26, single and living at home with my parents (that one sure stirred up a lot of dialogue lol). Well, on February 27, 2019 — at 28 years, 10 months and three days old — I officially became a first-time homeowner. *inserts praise break*


Crazy how much my life has changed since writing that post — like literally a whole 180 degrees lol. From living at home with my folks to moving out and purchasing my first home. From being 26 and single to being 28 and boo'd up. Won't He do it!


What's funny, though, is how many folks blatantly questioned/assumed I was moving in with my boyfriend after I told them I was purchasing a home. People move in with their significant others all the time so it wasn't like what they were assuming was far-fetched, it just became slightly annoying after a while. Like the idea of me getting a place with my boyfriend made more sense than me getting a place on my own (I'm sure they weren't actually thinking that, but that's how it felt after being asked enough times).


But to be honest, moving in with my bf was something I never even considered. I had been living with my parents since I graduated from college, so it was necessary for me to have my own space where I could get to know myself in ways I wouldn't be able to living with another human being. I needed to take my faith, finances and self-commitment to a whole new level and learn to experience life independently of the people I'm closest to. For me, that meant buying my first home — alone.


Unpopular opinion: I don't believe you have to live with your significant other in order to gauge how married life with that person would be. Every relationship is different, so if that method is working/has worked for you and your boo, more power to y'all. But for me, simply observing my living habits in my place vs. my boyfriend's living habits in his has given us enough of an idea of what to expect living under the same roof. Of course there's a lot more to marriage than just living together, which is why we are constantly communicating about our personal values, goals, finances, how we were raised vs. how we would like to raise a family — everything. Because whether you live together or not, communication is the foundation for any and every relationship.


Although I would love for us to get married and get a place together one day, I'm enjoying and loving the place I'm in now. I enjoy having the freedom to transform a space into my very own sanctuary that I can decorate and maintain just the way I like. Or wake up in the morning to pray and meditate in uninterrupted silence. Or walk around my place butt naked while blasting the Solange Pandora station. Or come home, pour me a large glass of wine and write in my favorite spot (my chaise lounge by the living room window) until I pass out.


Buying my first home solo was an investment in my growth and peace of mind. It may have taken six and a half years of soul-searching and living with my parents for me to get to this point but I'm here, relishing in every moment of my independence, my solitude and God's perfect timing.


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Do you feel like it's necessary to live with your significant other before getting married? Log in to leave a comment and let's discuss!



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